nothing better to do

wow it's been ages since i've posted here.
don't think anyone actually comes here to check for an update or whatsoever anyway.
the 06 blog is defunct too. the 3 of us have been too 'busy' to update, haha.

well alot has change in the past year or so. life has changed quite drastically for me and my 2 best friends. or maybe just me. we're all heading in different directions in life for different things. tho some things are common. for one thing our path of friendship still remains the same. no matter what we've been through, the 3 of us, it still stays the same, haha.

on a lonely boring wednesday night, even tho i've had offers to go clubbing, i've decided to stick at home and drink. to do the thing i do best and do it good, drink. i'm an alcholic of sorts i guess. i can live without alcohol like i can do so without cigarettes or unhealthy food. but it truly is something i enjoy like good food, hah.

lately i posted a quiz on Facebook and most of my friends guessed i'd "eat drink and be merry" if i had the time and money". when questioned by them why that was not my answer i told them straight that "i'd do that even if i didnt have the money."

if there be any grammer or spelling mistakes please excuse me, i'm half way through my "drink till i forget tonight" quest. this is proving an expensive journey, i've killed the goose and proceeding to kill pang's bottle of bacardi limon. it's cool, i told him i'd make it up to him. this shit is good. what i lack is a nice cigar or come cigarettes.

we all change. certain things or just for no reason at all humans change. for better or worse till death do us part. we change. we are but human. i've been alot of things and alot not. the days still go by either for better or worse. i fell in love with someone i should not and well guess what? it turned out as everyone expected. a tragedy of sorts. right...

when you feel down what do you do? make yourself happy. whats wrong with "forcing yourself to be happy"? it's just another form of making yourself happy no? you want 'truly happy'? sorry that shit doesnt exist. you make do with what you have... and sometimes you have no choice but to make do with what you had.

time doesn't heal the wound, even if it does it still leaves a scar there. don't be taken in by the time heals all wounds lie. it doesn't exist. you get a scar, big or small is up to you or whatsoever caused the scar.

i apologize right now to everyone and anyone reading this blog. i'm rambling on and on about stuff which dont really matter. what does matter in life? money so you can buy a huge house and live a rich and b-e-a-u-tiful life. fat? money can give you lipo! partnerless? money can buy you a b-e-a-u-tiful partner! who cares about anything else anyway. i admit the family i was born into is not poor, but not god damn rich either. my parents showed me love when i was younger through the message that money is important. anything i did right would be rewarded through money or a monetary incentive of sorts. they didnt ask me how my school work was, they didnt ask me was it cos of any problems i faced at school or whatsoever. why the hell would they ask if they knew that all they needed to do was dangle a carrot infront of this mule? why whould they care if their son drank himself to sleep every night for a year, didn't give a fuck about anything he did in poly cos of a girl. or why their son goes to a "dead-end-job" everyday and feel like crap when he could do so much more with his life? it's cos they still think money is everything. it's important but for god or whatever's sake it ain't that bloody imporant. call me old fashioned or whatever but what the fuck happend to love? apparently it went to jump off some unknown cliff along the aegean sea. yes go ahead and google where the aegean sea is.

when you feel like there is nothing left in this world left to fight for, or you just feel like giving up on everything. dont. there are still people worth fighting for, there are still people who make this world worth it. it just depends on how much you weigh their worth, everyone has a different scale. some people have rigged scales. but everyone judges and decides. most people just become the judge, jury but not the executioner.

right now my eyes are somewhat closing while i still sit at the desk typing my final few words to try close this post successfully without smashing my head over the keyboard wondering what i should type.

while typing the above sentence i think i have decided to leave you with a "follow your heart, not your mind, because your mind thinks while your heart just nudges you towards your desires"

sigh, it is time for me to publish and sign out and allow everone to read my stupid drunked post about stupidity. maybe half a bottle or so more and i'm probably "gone" too.

cheers to anyone and everyone who has read this post. kinda surpising. good luck and good life to all. i seriously gotta put an end to everything soon.